Sexier then you
by dragonsong94
Summary: this is a dream thus its slightly ooc. Umm yeah basically Jake and Emmett get in a fight about whos sexier. is now multi twi charters all cannon
1. Chapter 1

**This is a dream and slightly occ. I have full lyrics all songs don't belong to me. Im way to lazy to look them up. Before wedding.**

**Bella pov.**

Jake stormed into the Cullen house.

"Jake what are you doing here?" I asked in Edwards arms. I was supposedly sleeping over with Alice but Edwards the only one who could kidnap me. Jake for once and his life ignored me. "Jake why are you here?" I tried again

"Jacob why are you in my house mongrel?" Edward asked. I sighed and Edward looked at me.

"Cant you to get along?" I asked. Both Edward and Jacob laughed. One by one the Cullens materialized in the living room. All but Emmett.

"EMMETT!!" Jake yelled.

"Yeah Jakey wakey pants?" Emmett asked appearing.

"Im sexier then you." I didn't expect this.-sarcasm-

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"Prove it Mr. Im-not-sexier-then-Emmett"

Then Jake sang

[Chorus: Mims]  
This is why Im hot  
This is why Im hot  
This is why (this is why)  
This is why Im hot  
[x2]  
I'm hot cuz im fly,  
You ain't cuz you not,  
This is why (this is why)  
This is why Im hot  
I'm hot cuz im fly,  
You hate cuz you not (M.I.M.S.!)  
This is why (this is why)  
This is why I'm hot.

[Verse 1:]  
This is why I'm hot, I don't gotta rap  
I could sell a mil. sayin' nothing on the track  
I represent New York, I got it on my back,  
Niggas say that we lost it, so imma bring it back.  
I love the Dirty Dirty, cuz niggas show me love  
The ladies start to bounce as soon as I hit the club.  
But in the Midwest, they love to take it slow,  
So when I hit that shit, I watch em (get it on the flo')  
And if you need it hyphy, I'll take it to the Bay,  
'Frisco to Sac-Town, they do it everyday.  
Compton to Hollywood, soon as I hit LA,  
I'm in the low-low, I do it the Cali way.  
And when I hit the Chi', people tell me that I'm fly.  
They like the way I dress, they like my attire.  
They love how I move crowds from side-to-side,  
They ask me how I do it, and simply I reply:

[Chorus:]  
This is why Im hot  
This is why Im hot  
This is why (this is why)  
This is why Im hot  
[x2]  
I'm hot cuz im fly,  
You ain't cuz you not,  
This is why (this is why)  
This is why Im hot  
I'm hot cuz im fly,  
You hate cuz you not (M.I.M.S.!)  
This is why (this is why)  
This is why I'm hot.

[Verse 2:]  
This is why I'm hot, catch me on the block,  
Every other day, another girl, another drop,  
16 bars, 24 a pop,  
44 a song, nigga gimme what chu got.  
I'm into drivin cars, fresh up off the lot ,  
Im into shuttin stores down, just so I could shop.  
If you need a bird, I could get it chopped,  
Tell me what chu need, you know I get em by the flock.  
I call my homie Black, meet me on the Avvve.  
I hit Wash. Heights with the money in the bag.  
We into big spendin', you see my pimpin' never drag,  
Find me with different women that you niggas never had.  
For those who say they know me, know I'm focused on my green  
Playa you come between, you better focus on the beam.  
I keep it so mean, the way you seen me lean,  
And when I say Im hot, my nigga this is what I mean

[chorus:]  
This is why Im hot  
This is why Im hot  
This is why (this is why)  
This is why Im hot  
[x2]  
I'm hot cuz im fly,  
You ain't cuz you not,  
This is why (this is why)  
This is why Im hot  
I'm hot cuz im fly,  
You hate cuz you not (M.I.M.S.!)  
This is why (this is why)  
This is why I'm hot.

[verse 3:]  
This is why im hot, shorty see the drop  
Asked me what I paid, and I say yeah, I paid a guap.  
And then I hit the switch, that take away the top,  
So chicks around the way, they call me Creame of the Crop.  
They hop in the car, I tell em All aboard  
We hit the studio, they say they like how I record.  
I gave em Black Train and I Did You Wrong,  
So everytime I see them, they tell me that's their song.  
They say I'm the bomb,  
They love the way the charm,  
Hangin from the neck, and compliments the arm,  
Which compliments the ear, then comes the gear,  
So when I hit the room, the shorties stop 'n stare.  
Niggas start to hate, rearrange they face,  
But little do they know, I keep them thangs by waist  
Son I reply, nobody got to die,  
Similar to Lil' Weez cuz I got the fire.

[Chorus:]  
This is why Im hot  
This is why Im hot  
This is why (this is why)  
This is why Im hot  
[x2]  
I'm hot cuz im fly,  
You ain't cuz you not,  
This is why (this is why)  
This is why Im hot  
I'm hot cuz im fly,  
You hate cuz you not (MIMS!)  
This is why (this is why)  
This is why I'm hot.

"Oh Emmy-pants you gonna let him say that?" I said. Then Emmett sang in a deep voice.

Lyrics;

You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this

My, my, my music hits me so hard  
Makes me say "Oh my Lord"  
Thank you for blessing me  
With a mind to rhyme and two hype feet  
It feels good, when you know you're down  
A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown  
And I'm known as such  
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch

I told you homeboy (You can't touch this)  
Yeah, that's how we living and you know (You can't touch this)  
Look at my eyes, man (You can't touch this)  
Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics (You can't touch this)

Fresh new kicks, advance  
You gotta like that, now you know you wanna dance  
So move, outta your seat  
And get a fly girl and catch this beat  
While it's rolling, hold on  
Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on  
Like that, like that  
Cold on a mission so fall them back  
Let 'em know, that you're too much  
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch

Yo, I told you (You can't touch this)  
Why you standing there, man? (You can't touch this)  
Yo, sound the bell, school is in, sucka (You can't touch this)

Give me a song, or rhythm  
Make 'em sweat, that's what I'm giving 'em  
Now, they know  
You talking about the Hammer you talking about a show  
That's hype, and tight  
Singers are sweating so pass them a wipe  
Or a tape, to learn  
What's it gonna take in the 90's to burn  
The charts? Legit  
Either work hard or you might as well quit

That's word because you know...

You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this

Break it down! (Music breaks down) Stop, Hammer time!

Go with the funk, it is said  
That if you can't groove to this then you probably are dead  
So wave your hands in the air  
Bust a few moves, fun your fingers through your hair  
This is it, for a winner  
Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner  
Move, slide your rump  
Just for a minute let's all do the bump, bump, bump

Yeah... (You can't touch this)  
Look, man (You can't touch this)  
You better get hype, boy, because you know (You can't touch this)  
Ring the bell, school's back in (You can't touch this)

Break it down!Stop, Hammer time!  
You can't touch this )  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this

Break it down! (Nice pants, Hammer) Stop, Hammer time!

Every time you see me  
The Hammer's just so hype  
I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic  
Now why would I ever stop doing this?  
With others making records that just don't hit  
I've toured around the world, from London to the Bay  
It's "Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo Hammer"  
And the rest can go and play

You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this

"Well Jakey-poo?" Edward asked then began to laugh.

Jake sang defiantly  
Oh, baby dolls

I know you like me (I know you like me)  
I know you do (I know you do)  
Thats why whenever I come around shes all over you  
And I know you want it (I know you want it)  
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)  
And in the back of your mind  
I know you should be home with me

[Chorus]  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Dont cha, dont cha  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me  
Dont cha, dont cha

Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)  
Leave it alone (leave it alone)  
Cause if it aint love  
It just aint enough to leave a happy home  
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)  
You have to play fair (you have to play fair)  
See, I dont care  
But I know she aint gon' wanna share

[Chorus]  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Dont cha, dont cha , baby  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me  
Dont cha, dont cha

I know I'm on your mind  
I know we'll have a good time  
I'm your friend  
I'm fun  
And I'm fine  
I aint lying  
Look at me, you aint blind [2x]

See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)  
I understand (I understand)  
I'd probably be just as crazy about you  
If you were my own man  
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)  
Possibly (possibly)  
Until then, Oh friend your'e secret is safe with me

[Chorus]  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Dont cha, dont cha  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me  
Dont cha, dont cha

"Well Emmy?" All the Cullens were watching and waiting.

"Take this you flea bag." Emmett said

Lyrics:  
Jacob Black,  
Shes not coming back  
La Push has come to shove  
And shes through with you

Edward to my disappointment joined in. Quietly as I could I tried to leave. Edward grabbed me and held me there.

Dont you see  
Youre just a dog to me?  
If you come near her again  
Ill eat you, too

First you missed her  
Then you kissed her  
Im just watching  
You think youre fine  
Im waiting  
Contemplating  
Dont you screw up  
Or youre mine

First you missed her  
Then you kissed her  
Im just watching  
You think youre fine  
Im waiting  
Contemplating  
Dont you screw up  
Or your mine

Your nothing but a dog  
Nothing but a dog  
Nothing but a dog  
And its time for you to face the truth

Your nothing but a dog  
Nothing but a dog  
Nothing but a dog  
And shes still way too good for you

Watch your back cause who knows what Ill do  
Jacob Black Ive got my eye on you

The other day  
I thought I heard you say  
May the best man win  
But I see through your ploy  
You may think  
That you are on the brink  
Of winning her love  
But you are just a boy

First you missed her  
Then you kissed her  
I'm just watching  
You think your fine  
Im waiting  
Contemplating  
Dont you screw up  
Or youre mine

First you missed her  
Then you kissed her  
Im just watching  
Im waiting  
Contemplating  
Dont you screw up  
Or youre mine

Your nothing but a dog  
Nothing but a dog  
Nothing but a dog  
And its time for you to face the truth

Your nothing but a dog  
Nothing but a dog  
Nothing but a dog  
And shes still way too good for you

Watch your back cause who knows what Ill do  
Jacob Black Ive got my eye on you

You were there to save her life when I was far away  
Differences aside and Ill say thank you anyway  
The bigger man will shake your hand  
And pretty soon youll see  
In your mind youre kissing her  
In life shes kissing me

Your nothing but a dog  
Nothing but a dog  
Nothing but a dog  
And its time for you to face the truth

Your nothing but a dog  
Nothing but a dog  
Nothing but a dog  
And shes still way too good for you

Watch your back cause who knows what Ill do  
Jacob Black Ive got my eye on you

Jacob pulled in a "boom-box" plugged it in and began to dance. I recognized the c.d.. I pretended to be angry with Edward, as Jake got ready.

"Edward you're a jerk face." I said

"What I do my love?" He asked inoccently.

"You know what you did. Maybe I should go live with Jacob if you're going to be mean." I said.

"No Bella no what can I do?" Alice began to giggle.

"Dance to this song with Jacob." I said.

"Yes o.k." He said. "Anything."

The music played and Edward groaned.

Lyrics  
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts  
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan  
New York and Japan

And I'm too sexy for your party  
Too sexy for your party  
No way I'm disco dancing

I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I do my little turn on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car  
Too sexy by far  
And I'm too sexy for my hat  
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat  
Poor putty poor putty cat  
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me

And I'm too sexy for this song

Edward and Jake were standing their in just pants and I sighed eyeing Edwards perfectly chiseled chest. I pulled him in the seat and refused to let him put his shirt back on.

"Bella who was the sexiest?" Jake asked.

"Edward."  
"Out of me and Jake Bella." Emmett whined.

"You have to do one more song Emmett." I reminded him.

Then he sang.

**Switching to Jacob pov**

She knew something I didn't know. I stood there and waited for Emmett to sing.

"Wait" Alice yelled. She ran and grabbed Emmett and pulled him upstairs. Soon the music Came on.

And Emmett came down in the matching outfit.'

Baby Ive got plans tonight  
You dont know nothin about  
Ive been sitting around way too long  
Trying to figure you out  
But you say that youll call and you dont  
And Im spinning my wheels  
So Im going out tonight  
In my red high heels

Im gonna call up that old boyfriend  
You said still has it bad for me  
Im gonna take him into town  
Flaunt him around for everyone to see  
Well you said so yourself  
You know the deal  
Nobody holds a candle to me  
In my red high heels

Well you can watch me walk if you want to, want to  
Ill bet you want me back now dont you, dont you  
Im about to show you just how missin me feels  
In my red high heels

All those games you tried to play  
Well they ain`t gonna work on me now  
I put up a barbed wire fence  
around my heart  
Baby just to keep you out  
Well you thought Id wait around forever  
But baby get real  
I just kicked you to the curb  
In my red high heels

Oh you can watch me walk if you want to, want to  
Ill bet you want me back now dont you, dont you  
Im about to show you just how missin me feels  
In my red high heels

Oh you can watch me walk if you want to, want to  
Ill bet you want me back now dont you, dont you  
Im about to show you just how missin me feels

Oh you can watch me walk if you want to, want to  
Ill bet you want me back now dont you, dont you  
Im about to show you just how missin me feels  
In my red high heels

Instrumental

Oh you can watch me walk if you want to, want to  
Ill bet you want me back now dont you, dont you  
Im about to show you just how missin me feels  
In my red high heels

Oh you can watch me walk if you want to, want to  
Ill bet you want me back now dont you, dont you  
Im about to show you just how missin me feels  
In my red high heels

In my red high heels  
In my red high heels

"Emmett isn't that a girls song..."asked Edward as I stared in disbelief"…and roses heels."

"No their my heels." Emmett said

"Its still a girls song."

"And im sexier then Jacob."

"No sorry Emmett." Said Bells "Jacob wins today. Admit it."

"NEVER" He yelled.

"See you tomorrow Jake." Bella said

"Later Bells" I walked out. I would be back again, and again, and again. 364 days a year till Emmett admits Im sexier. What Emmett and I can be the same amount of sexy on Christmas give a guy a break.

**K guys I can leave it a one shot or add more chapters you say. I can do different sexy fights more Jake Emmett they don't all have to be song ones they most likely wont be. Any way byes, for a weekend. I'm going on a trip with no computer ahh my inbox will be ull of emails for wonderful people like you.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok so the story is no longer a one shot so umm like if you have any suggestions about people who should fight or who should win let me know. This one will be weird. Because this one too is a dream cause I thought it would be funny if something like this had happened in Twilight then I dreamt it. **

**Jakes POV**

"Bella I need Bella." I burst into Charlie's house. I looked around the living room Bella and Edward where lying on the couch. Edward lay against the Backboard and Bella wrapped in a blanket, and looking like a green burrito, was facing he back to him toward the t.v. I heard Romeo and Juliet playing. I didn't stop to think about it.

"Why do you need me Jake?" Bella asked. God she's beautiful when she's confused. Edwards growled. Stupid mind reading leach.

Then the leach flipped Bella over. I saw the effort he made to be careful. Stupid leach I thought again. Then he kissed her. Bella's pose when ridged and Edward smiled. He turned her back around.

"Why do you need me Jake?" Bella asked slightly breathless. It took a second then I remembered. I raced around the couch and knelt down in front of her.

"OkIknowyoulikeyourbloodsuckerbutIneedyoutobreakupwithhimforlikeanhourandbemygirlfriendsoEmmettwillfinallyadmitI'msexier."I said rushed. Edward growled.

"What?"Bells asked getting that beautiful confused look again. I took a deep breath.

"Ok I know you like your bloodsucker but I need you to break-up with him for like an hour and be my girlfriend so Emmett will finally admit I'm sexier." I said slowing down.

"Um why?" She asked. Gol she's a idiot sometimes. Edward laughed.

"Only sometimes." He said.

"You seen that of her too?"

"Italy." I shudder remembering.

"Well yeah."

"What am I missing?" Bella asked.

"Nothing" Me and Edward said at the same time.

"Edward and I" He even corrected my thinking.

"Shut up." I said.

"Well Jake what am I doing." Bella asked again.

"Breaking up or cheating on Edward for a little bit." I said. Bella flinched so hard she fell off the couch I caught her before she hit the ground. "only so that Emmett will admit I'm Sexier then him."

"What?" She asked. Then she looked at Edward.

"I think it will funny." Edward said. My heart lifted. "I don't mind you cheating on me for a bit but I would rather we didn't break up." He shot her a crooked smile and I heard her heart beat that much faster.

"O.k?" She looked at us both funny and sounded thourghly dazzled. Dang that leach dazzled her into my plan oh well I could make it work.

"So you'll be my girl friend for a little bit?" I sounded way to hopeful.

"Sure Jake. Whatever you say." She rolled her eyes.

"But then I get her all back to myself." Edward said. I rolled my eyes.

"Lets go to the Cullens." I started to get exited. He would have to say I'm sexier this time.

**At the Cullens (still Jakes POV)**

"EMMY" I yelled even though I knew I didn't have to. The Cullens rushed into the room all but Emmett."Where is he?"

"In our room." Blondie said.

"O.k. I'm here Jakey pants." Emmett finally came down stairs at human pace.

Im sexier then you." I didn't expect this.-sarcasm-

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"Prove it Mr. Im-not-sexier-then-Emmett"

"My girlfriends cuter." I said. It was time for my plan.

"You don't have a girlfriend." He said Slightly to smug.

"Her name happens to be. Bella Swan." I said smiling. All the Cullens look wildly at Bella, Edward then me. Moving so has it was hard to catch the movements. "I was so sexy she just couldn't stay away."

"Well I ..um My girlfriends is hotter." Emmett said trying to cover shock.

"No Esme don't think like that. I'm staying here. Not going to Italy and do indeed have a girlfriend." Edward said. Ah mother leach is worried. Not about Bella but Edward of course.

"No she is worried about Bella but last time I had to live with out Bella it didn't uh.. turn out well." Edward replied to my thoughts. Right that. The room took in a collective shudder.

"Well my girlfriend-slash-wife isn't cheating on me." Emmett said. The way he said it. He sounded like Emmett finally released two and two equal four. Edward chuckled. _If your chuckling now wait for the nest sentence._ I though directly towards him.

"Well my girlfriend was dazzled into being my girlfriend." I said proudly like I had been the one to dazzle her. Bella laughed in a way the brought LOL into a new meaning. Edward after hearing the reaction to my statement and in ever ones head then my reaction to Bella's laughter in mine he brought a new meaning to lmao. That made the hysterical leach laugh harder. Emmett looked back up at me.

"What's the joke?" He asked.

"Your girlfriends face." I said with out thinking. All of a sudden Blondie comes flying out of no where. I get thrown against the wall and Blondie is there again.

"What did you say?" For one minute she was a vampire and I was the pray. I felt water run down my leg, and I shivered with fright. Blondie took a deep breath and smile pulling away. Edward regaining his breath looked up and started laughing again. Bella was laughing so hard tears fell from her eyes. Everyone even Carlisle joined in. I looked down and saw what they where laughing at.

Bella was the first to stop laughing. Emmett was next. One by one everyone stopped laughing. Then the feelings leach spoke.

"Very sexy Jacob." He said. Everyone started to laugh again. Then quieted as Bella spoke.

"Um Jake no offence but I think it best that we broke up before something else happens." Edward chuckled but I realized he had been glaring at me.

"Bella if you want to say you need a boyfriend that doesn't wet himself and is in need of diapers. Just say it." The Blond thorn in my side said. I took that as a round lost. I son ran through my head the same one that always ran through my head at times like these. Bring on the rain by Joe Dee Massina.

Another day has almost come and gone

Can't imagine what else could go wrong

Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door

A single battle lost but not the war ('cause)

Tomorrow's another day

And I'm thirsty anyway

So bring on the rain

It's almost like the hard times circle 'round

A couple drops and they all start coming down

Yeah, I might feel defeated,

And I might hang my head

I might be barely breathing - but I'm not dead (no)

Tomorrow's another day

And I'm thirsty anyway

So bring on the rain

No I'm not gonna let it get me down

I'm not gonna cry

And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight ('cause)

Tomorrow's another day  
And I am not afraid  
So bring on the rain

Tomorrow's another day  
And I'm thirsty anyway  
So bring on the rain

(Bring on, bring on the rain)  
No, not gonna let it get me down  
I'm not gonna cry  
So bring on the rain  
(Bring on, bring on the rain)  
(Bring on the rain, Bring on the rain)

I faced as I ran and the sound of Emmett's booming laughter rang in my ears.

**A/N O.k so this time Jacob didn't win because I know there's a lot of Emmett fans and Jacob haters. I personally am a TEIPFBBJIJS or Team Edward Is Perfect For Bella But Jacob Is Just So… Yeah all my stories got reviews I decided to update all of them at the same time so yeah. TTLY HEY IMPORTANT GO TO therescue . invisablechildren .com save them please but with out the spaces**


	3. Edward and Bella

**Sorry for the wait. Kkk I got a review (YEAH) but it asked me for a Bella Edward fight. So this might be a little ooc cause im pretty sure the Bella would never get in a fight with Edward but hey what do I know?**

**Bella Pov**

I was over for a sleep over with Edward. We were watching Romeo and Juliet. Edward was whispering Romeos lines in my ear. When it got to the balcony seen Edward turned around and together we preformed it. I sigh as it ended and I nestled into his chest.

"He he." Emmett laughed. "Jasper I'm totally going to win this bet." Jasper ran down the stairs behind Emmett.

"Bella will win." He said. I wondered what I was winning. Alice began to giggle.

"Hey Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Yes?" I responded.

"Who is sexier you or Edward?"

"Edward." I said at the same time he said "Bella."

"No Edward you are so much sexier its not even funny." I said.

"Bella you past me in so many ways."

"Edward your sexier then anyone I know."

"Bella you're the sexiest person I know."

"Edward admitted your sexier, and I will go easy on you."

"Alright Bella its war."

"I have to many scars."

"I have vampire bites."

"All the girls like you."

"All the guys like you."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Prove it."

"Do you really want to hear what goes on in Mike's mind?"

"Do you want to hear well rehear what goes on with Jessica?"

"Mike thinks your Athena's better looking younger sister."

"Jessica undresses you with her mind."

"Mike wants to do dirty things."

"Jessica already has a plan to dirty things."

"Mike does to."

"Yeah and there all center around looking and acting like you."

"Well yeah but Jacobs don't." I shivered. This conversation was getting creepy beyond belief.

"Well all the girls think your god and think I'm an ugly."

"All the guys like you. We've been over this."

"They guys think your sexy to. Thus Imation."

"Bella the way you regard me is ridiculous. We all know your sexier."

"I didn't want to have to do this Edward."

"Do what Bella?"

"Remember you made me."

"Bella what are you going to do?"

"I really regret this."

"Bella? Love?"

"Admit your sexier and I won't do it."

"Never."

"Emmett bring out the evidence." Emmett scrambled for the steps.

"Bella where is he going?" Edward asked. He must have read his mind. "NOOO!!!!!!"

"Jasper." I said. The room became calm.

"Bella please not those." Edward Begged.

"Nope. You brought this on your self."

"Fine then ALICE!"

Yes Edward?" She asked as Emmett came back down stairs and handed me the box.

"THE BOX if you please." Alice pulled it out from behind her back. Then the family faded back into the background.

"Exhibit A." I said. "Your first day as a vampire."

"Exhibit 1" He said. "Your baby photo. Never seen a cuter baby."

"Exhibit b. You in a tux."

"2 your prom photo."

"c you in your kakis."

"You in that mini skirt."

"Theres one more photo. Give up now and It doesn't have to be seen."

"There is?!?!?!?!?!?"

"Emmett took it 2000 after the bar."

"NO Bella no."

"Admit it."

"NEVER"

"Then you made me. Exhibit d you in la nude."

"If I could blush I would."

"Do I win?"

"No your blush is to beautiful." As if my face agreed I blushed. I turned to my last resort. I hit me knees and began to cry.

"Bella love what's wrong?" I sobbed harder.

"You-hic-don't-sob-love-choke-me" I sobbed harder. I saw Edwards face blurred from tears his face was distressed.

"Why would you say that." He sounded like he was close to tears..uh..dry sobs.

"YOU-sob-hate-cry-me" I was really milking this.

"NO nonononononono" I don't what can I do to make this right?" He sounded desperate which was good.

"Say-sob sob- I was right." I cried a little bit harder. "Say your sexier then me."

"You where right" He said quickly. "I'm sexier then you." He wrapped me in a hug. **( Seriusly people whats with the wrapping? I would make myself one but I just had a quesadilla. {see sounds like truth or dare}) **

"Really-sniffle hic-?" I peaked up from under his arm.

"Yes love of course." He said I jumped up and smile. Edward looked up from where he was on the ground. I attempted to walk over to the couch and tripped over his arms. He caught me just before I hit the ground. Thank god for Vampire speed.

"You tricked me?" He sounded confused as he walked to the couch .

"You are beautiful when you are confused." I said. He shock his head as he sat on the couch.

"I win." I hear Jasper say calmly.

"No fair Bella cheated." Emmett whined. I turned to watch them.

"No Bella used her resources. Trust me she would have won anyway. Beautiful blush was the last thing up Edwards sleeve." Jasper said. I started to get expectant and I didn't know why. Then I had this really happy winning feeling….Oh right Jasper.

"FINE." Emmett said like a pouty 3 year old. "I admit it was a tie."

"No Emmett Jasper won fair and square." Edward said with regret. "And no Emmett I didn't know about the bet."

"Ok Jasper you win." Jasper beamed and Emmett hung his head. Two white flashes of vampire movement grabbed a Emmett and pulled him up stairs. Later a girl I have never seen before walks down the steps. She could have been a model for football.

"Edward." I heard my voice shake.

"Yes love?" He asked with a laugh.

"There is a girl in the house."

"I know. You Rose and Alice and is Esme here?"

"No a stranger." He turned in his seat looked back at me and rolled his eyes.

"That's just Emmett."

**A/N Hey lol right. Well review choose to people to duke it out then they will.**


	4. A man in uniform is cheesy

**I'm ****baaaaak I don't own them…yet**

**Bella Pov**

I was sitting on the couch at the Cullens and All of us were watching Up. It was a Pixar movie but we felt like being childish.

"I do not like the cone of shame." Doug said from the movie when Jake came in the door.

"Hey Emmett." Jake said sitting down. "I'm sexier then you."

"I don't know about Emmett and You but I am certainly sexier then Emmett." Jasper said with a smile. Jacob to smiled contently and settled back to watch the show.

"NO WAY" Emmett turned to me. I knew this would not be good. "Hey Bella you got tickets to the Gun Show?" He flashed his biceps at me.

"That's all you got?" Jasper turned to me. "Hey Bella did it hurt?"

"When you tried to kill her?" Emmett asked

"No when she fell from heaven." Jasper responded.

"Hey Bella." Emmett. "Someone better call god. Hes missing an angel."

"Hey Bella." Jasper. "Can I borrow your phone."

"What For?" Me.

"I want to call my mom and tell her I met the women of my dreams."

"Hey Bella." Emmett. "Do you come here often?"

"Hey Bella." Jasper. "Do you have a map I got lost in your eyes."

"Hey Bella." Emmett. "Bond. James Bond."

"Hey Emmett." Jasper. "Lost get lost. Hey Bella. I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart."

"Hey Jasper." Emmett "I'm your Jailer. Hey Bella, If I followed you home would you keep me?"

"If you were a booger I would pick you first." Jasper.

"Stop you dogs." Doug said from the TV

"I agree those lines were terrible." I said.

"They get better." E "Are you free tonight or will it cost me?"

"Can I see your tan lines?" J

"Ha it is funny cause the squirrel gets dead. " Doug said.

"Congratulations! You have just been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!" E. Edward began paying attention and growling.

"Do you know what'd look good on you? Me" J.

"Hey that's my girlfriend." Edward said finally.

"Just a few more." Emmett begged.

"Two each." Edward agreed.

"Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?" E. Edward growled again

"I forgot my phone number whats yours." J

"You're my master?" Doug said.

"I can be your master." E. Edwarld growled. Alice moved to grab Edwards hands Rosalie did to.

"Bet you twenty dollars I can kiss you without my lips." Jasper said.

"Ok but-" Jaspers lips cut me off. I moved and fell back…. Off the couch. Emmett almost died laughing.

"I guess I owe you twenty dollars."

"DUDE" Edward yelled. Jacob got up to help restrain Edward, but was laughing so hard that he fell again. "Let me go girls." Jasper nodded. Edward came and picked me up off the floor. When I was finaly on my feet I turned to Jasper and held out my hand. He slapped twenty in there. Experimentally I said of fly.

"I always thought men in uniform were sexy." Emmett and Jasper raced up stairs. Edward and Alice began to cackle like school girls. Jasper came down first. I let out a whistle that got me the look from Edward.

"What?" Jasper was wearing his confederate army uniform and he looked good. Emmett came down next.

"Emmett what are you wearing? Rosalie screeched. I hit the floor laughing. Emmett was wearing a cheerleading outfit complete with piggy tales.

"Stop laughing and get this thing off me." Said the dog formally known as alpha.

"I think its safe to say that Jasper wins this one." Jacob said in between breaths.

**Well hit or miss on this one guys? I tried for funny but I think I just got overkill. And you can all thank For the Love of a Book for this one.**


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